With and because of Him...

Sometimes it’s hard to believe that one can survive reasonably well, celebrate joyous occasions, and remain content without one of their most precious friends in the world. Krimson has been gone for three years.

As I was recounting the events of those days, it seems hard to believe that it's been that long. I was checking out of a hotel room in Burlington when Krimson’s mom called and told me she had a bad asthma attack...there were complications...she was in the hospital…her condition was incredibly serious…I should make plans to go to Ohio. The next couple of days were a blur. I remember being overwhelmed with emotions of fear and confusion. Sleep was nearly impossible, and I became utterly exhausted physically.

I believe that it is in those moments where we can do nothing that God reveals Himself most as our Protector. Unable to even drive myself to the airport, God provided someone to take me there. Because it was an early flight, He supplied an open bed in a home close to the airport so I could get more rest. He orchestrated a connecting flight in Washington DC, so I wouldn’t have to fly to Ohio by myself. He blessed me with a sister who was willing to support me in my weakest moments. Even after only having met us a few times, Krimson's family treated us like family - God and His child were our bond. Kimberly and I flew out on Tuesday morning, the morning after Krimson was taken off of life support – and she passed away later that afternoon. As much as I wanted to be there with her, God must have been protecting me then too.

I couldn’t begin to count how many times I picked up the phone to call or text her, how many things I saw that she would love and almost bought for her, how many times I wanted her advice, ideas or prayers. How do you endure three years without your best friend?! You cry. You scream. You get mad. And you let God hold you. You let Him show you His love by allowing yourself to be wrapped up in His embrace, despite the whirlwind of emotions that you’re experiencing. You find peace, not in your circumstances, but in the truth of who He is and what He has promised He will do. His strength is perfect, and He is all we need. Oh, that we could truly embody that thought.

If someone would have asked me three and a half years ago if I could endure losing Krimson, I would have said no. Losing her wouldn’t even make sense. Losing her would cause considerable emptiness. Losing her would shatter hopes and dreams. But God says that His ways are perfect. He promises to fill our emptiness. He gives us new hopes and dreams. He loves us. With and because of Him, we can do anything.